Children depend on adults to keep them safe. Adults
may not always be able to protect the child from danger. A trauma is
an intense event which can threaten or cause harm to a child's physical
or emotional well being. Traumatic events can include abuse, violence,
natural disasters, deaths, separation from family or accidents.
Ways to Help Children Heal
Helping a child heal after a trauma can be challenging and confusing for a caregiver. There are many ways to help a child. Review the list and find the tips which work for you and the child.
Make the first step
- Take care of yourself first so you are better able to help the child. Talk to someone about your concerns and feelings.
- Remind the child that his/her safety is important. Let the child know what steps are being taken to keep him/her safe.
- Recognize each traumatic event is different, and each child or family member may react differently to the trauma.
- Practice patience with the child. There is no set time for recovery from a trauma.
Talk About the Trauma
- It is ok to talk about the event. If you remain silent about it, then a child might think the event is too horrible to discuss.
- Listen to the child. If a child is opening up to you about the trauma, focus on the child. Try to ignore any distractions so you can give the child your full attention.
- Encourage the child to ask questions. That helps the child understand the trauma and begin to heal from it. Provide direct and simple answers.
Feelings About the Trauma
- Children may experience many kinds of feelings. Help the child identify his/her feelings about the trauma.
- Share your feelings about the trauma with the child. This shows the child that it is OK to talk about feelings and you are role modeling how to express feelings to the child.
- Often children blame themselves for the trauma. Remind them the trauma was not their fault.
Behaviors After the Trauma
- You know the child best. Trauma affects children in different ways. Pay attention to any changes in the child's behaviors and emotions.
- A child's reaction may be intense at times. Respond to the child's reaction in an understanding and loving way.
- It is helpful for children to have their usual routines and activities. Continue to provide consistent discipline after the trauma. Discipline provides structure and creates a sense of safety for children.
- Children may need help developing coping skills. Professional counseling may be beneficial for the child and/or the family.
Journey of Healing
- Remember the trauma does not define the child. Identify the child's strengths. Provide positive praise to the child.
- After a trauma, the basics of loving and caring for a child remain the same. Remind the child often that you love and care about him/her.
- You and your child can heal after a trauma. Children are strong and resilient when they know they have loving caring adults to support them.
