How to talk with children about sexual abuse
Teaching your children how to avoid sexual abuse is just as important as teaching them to look both ways before crossing a street. It is a basic life lesson to teach our children how to protect their own bodies from sexual abuse.
Your children need to know:
- Their bodies belong to them
No one should touch them without their permission. Let them know that there is one time when it's ok to say '‘No' to an adult or an older child: that is if an adult is touching a part of their body that is private or asks them to touch the adult's private parts.
- There are different kinds of touching
Teach them about touch that is good (like friendly or comforting hugs), touch that hurts (like hitting or pinching) and touch that makes them feel uncomfortable (touching their private parts).
- They can ask a trusted adult if they're not sure what's right
Your child's best protection is to be able to talk to you about experiences they don’t understand.
- They can tell a trusted adult about anyone's behavior that makes them uncomfortable
Tell your children they should keep on telling until they find an adult who listens to them and believes them.
- They should not keep bad secrets
Abuse cannot take place unless it is kept a secret. Your children should know the difference between good secrets and bad secrets. A good secret is fun and exciting when it is found out later, like a surprise party. A bad secret is about something that someone has done wrong that they don't want you to tell anybody. Let your children know that is it important to tell bad secrets to trusted adults.
If your child tells you about something or someone that makes them afraid or uncomfortable:
- Believe your child
It is important for your child's safety and emotional well–being that you support them when they come to talk to you about feeling fearful or uneasy being around someone. Listen, learn why, and respect your child's feelings.
- Take action to immediately protect your child
Make whatever changes are necessary in the environment to prevent abuse from happening to your child.
- If something has happened, help your child understand that it is not his or her fault
An abuser may tell children they will get in trouble if they tell. In contrast, be open to your child's disclosure and let them know that you do not blame them in any way.
- Report the abuse
Contact local law enforcement or Child Protective Services. Remember, sexual abuse is a crime.
- Get professional help
Make sure your child's case is handled by specially trained professionals who have experience working with child victims.
- Get a medical exam right away for your child
Even if your child appears unhurt, it is important to test for transmitted disease or unseen injuries.
The best prevention is a good connection. Be a person your children can trust and talk to. Show them you believe them and will protect them from harm.
The services of licensed counselors and experienced staff are free to Dallas County residents.
