Posted: 5/29/2015
Parkland is holding an event to celebrate Fathers and teach new fathers to learn about their privileges and responsibilities. How I needed that when I became a father!
What a privilege I have to be the one teaching news dads about this great mission!
As part of my day to day work I encounter all kinds of crisis around fatherhood. Honestly, among the things the touches me deepest is seeing a father crying. When I see tears coming down into a men’s face because of the regards for his child, I can’t hold my own crying. Today I witnessed this again, as a father was fighting between supporting his wife and hold himself together, and learned that this new born son is going to have Down Syndrome. Getting myself very close to him and hugging him very tight, from man to man, from father to father, gave meaning to my day. This is what fatherhood is all about!
It is when one feels the call to be the best friend, support, provider, protector, and life example to this wonderful human being that one can call “child” and would call you “father”. To be a father to someone is a little bit to be a “god” to someone who does not know anything about God and life. As God is a wonderful father figure to everyone we now have to imitate God and attempt to be a sign and a light to our little ones, so they would also find their wings and fly away safer.
I don’t regard myself as “an expert on fatherhood” as I don’t believe anyone is. I am learning every day from my kids and grandkids, and learning from all the fathers and fathers to be that I have the privilege to be with. I do recognize that I have a deep passion for fatherhood. In a world where family bonds seems to have lost its meaning, we have no hopes for a better world for our children, apart from dads who trust God to make them the best fathers this Father’s day and every day of their lives.
I close with a father’s prayer that says: Our Father who art in heaven, I am a father on earth. You have given me this gift and responsibility. Grant me the wisdom to carry it out. Let my fatherhood be one of encouragement and support, not of expectations and control. Let me protect my children, but not too much, advise them but no too little. Let me respect them as individuals, not as extensions of myself. Let me be honest about my feelings toward them – including my anger, disappointment, hurt, excitement, joy, and love. Let me be firm without dominating them. Let me be there for them when they need me and get out of their way when they don’t. Let me offer them the roots of belongings and the wings of freedom. Help me father in heaven, to be a father on earth. (Adolfo Quezada)
Oh lord, you are our father, we are the clay, and you are our potter, we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)
Carlos De Oliveira. Chaplain at Parkland Health & Hospital System