Posted: 12/16/2019
Parkland psychologists offers tips to beat the ‘holiday blues’
‘Tis that most wonderful time of the year – the season of holly, mistletoe and holiday music, shopping for gifts and gathering with friends and family. But not everyone feels the joy.
For some, the holidays are distressing or stressful, a dark time of year clouded by feelings of loneliness, loss, depression or anxiety.
Jose Alvarez, 24, of Seagoville, is approaching the first Christmas without his beloved father, Jose Luis Alvarez, 59, who passed away on May 24 at Parkland Memorial Hospital. Jose’s father was a cancer patient in the Palliative Care program at Parkland during his final months, a service that extends beyond the patient to meet the needs of the entire family of those who are seriously ill. Since his father’s death, Alvarez has struggled with his grief and is receiving counseling with Flor Leal, PhD, palliative care psychologist, at Parkland.
“Anticipating that empty chair during the holidays is very hard,” Alvarez said of his sadness. “Although it’s been several months since my father died, that is just a number. It doesn’t feel different.”
What has helped is talking about it. “I would advise anyone experiencing grief, especially during the holidays, to get help. Make that call. You can’t do it on your own. Talking through my feelings doesn’t mean I’m letting go of him – it means that I’m just starting to let go of all the sadness of missing him,” he said.
“I tell my patients that you can’t rush the healing process,” Leal said. “Grief doesn’t stop for holidays, and is often a reminder of their loss. Accepting the emotion, experiencing it and talking about it can be healing.”
In addition to emotional distress, the ‘holiday blues’ can cause physical symptoms, including headaches, insomnia and intestinal problems, according to Rebecca Corona, PhD, lead psychologist at Parkland Health & Hospital System.
“There are many reasons for depression and stress during the holidays,” Dr. Corona said. “Financial pressure, particularly for households with children, is a leading source of stress. For people without close family or those who have lost a loved one or are alone, the holidays can trigger grief and loneliness. It’s also very common to just feel overwhelmed, with way too much to do.”
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly half of all Americans report that stress has a negative impact on their lives. A 2011 study by the APA found that 75 percent of Americans report money as a significant source of stress.
“The pressure to spend too much at this time of year is intense, so it’s important for us to talk to our children and family to set realistic expectations,” Dr. Corona advised. “For children, this can be used as an opportunity to teach them about the value of money and spending responsibly.”
Coping with negative feelings during the holidays can be painful, but there are things you can do to feel more relaxed and positive, Dr. Corona added. “Finding ways to manage different personalities at holiday gatherings can be another challenge if old tensions and feuds reignite,” she said.
Following are some tips for relieving stress and making your holidays healthier and happier:
• Find meaning and purpose in the season by reaching out to help others. Do volunteer work or help a neighbor in need.
• Seek emotional support if you feel isolated. Talk to a professional counselor, or find help through social services, religious or community support systems.
• Focus on family experiences rather than things. Start a new tradition or revive an old one from your childhood.
• Keep your cool, especially when someone gets on your nerves. Take a walk if you need a break from irritating relatives. Try to accept people as they are and set aside grievances.
• Feeling anxious? Listen to your favorite music. Research shows it can relax muscle tension and increase blood flow, helping to calm you down.
• Exercise is also a great stress-reliever. Studies have found that your mood can be lifted for up to 12 hours after a good workout.
• Acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to feel sad if you’re missing a loved one. It’s okay to express your sadness to a friend or counselor.
• Stick to your budget. Overspending will only make you feel bluer. Set up a family tradition of drawing names for gift giving rather than buying for everyone or donate to a favorite charity to help control expenses.
• Plan ahead to eliminate last-minute frenzy. Make shopping lists, set aside time for cooking and cleaning. Ask your family to help.
• Prioritize your health. Eat holiday treats in moderation and avoid over-indulging in alcohol.
• Use techniques like meditation, breathing or muscle relaxation to alleviate stress and anxiety.
Parkland offers behavioral health services through the Community Oriented Primary Care health centers. For more information, visit www.parklandhospital.com