Posted: 11/19/2018
Something ‘magical’ happens when burn survivors connect
Sarah Conner fought back tears as she described the isolation she felt as a burn survivor whose scars are hidden. “I could wear shorts and a tank top and you’d never know I had been burned,” she said. “Since they were out of sight they were out of mind for my family, my partner at the time – for everyone. It was as if it didn’t happen.”
But it did.
Conner was burned in 2011 when a cauldron of steaming hot baked beans tumbled into her lap during a camping trip. To make matters worse she was in a remote campsite that made it virtually impossible for EMS workers to locate her.
“When I was burned at first I refused any type of [emotional] support because I didn’t think I needed it. I thought that since you couldn’t see my scars, everything was OK,” she said. “But when I took a shower the scars on my abdomen were all I could see.”
The silence began to take a mental toll on Conner who began drinking and at one point attempted suicide. She attended her first burn survivor support group meeting with bandages wrapped around her wrists. Pausing she said, “They were my ‘visible’ scars.”
Conner is not alone in her feelings about the long-term effects of being a burn survivor. That’s why Parkland Health & Hospital System’s Regional Burn Center hosts an annual retreat for adult burn survivors, their family members or friends. The retreat is free thanks to the generous support of donors through the Parkland Foundation. Twenty-seven people attended this year’s retreat over a three-day period in October.
“All retreat activities are designed to provide a safe place for survivors to share their experiences,” said Stephanie Campbell, Parkland’s Burn Program Manager. “There is something magical that happens when a burn survivor connects with another burn survivor and realizes that they are not alone in their recovery.”
Themed “Stop, Breathe, Believe,” the retreat was facilitated by Dianne Morris Jones, a licensed mental health counselor and author of Stop Breathe Believe, Mindful Living One Thought at a Time and I’m Fine, A Real Feelings Journal. The retreat included exercises such as Stop – to become aware of the one unhealthy thought that we might choose to replace; Breathe – to breathe our way to a state of calm openness, and Believe – to move forward with the help of a compassionate belief statement that brings release from the unhealthy thought that is hindering us.
Morris Jones first came in contact with burn survivors during a trip to Cincinnati. She was staying in the same hotel where the annual World Burn Conference was being held and was overwhelmed by the “joy of the people.” The attendees, she said, “were laughing and connecting on a heart level.”
Inspired by what she witnessed, Morris Jones became involved with the burn community in her home state of Iowa where she attended a camp for children with burn injuries and talked with firefighters, which led to her serving as keynote speaker at the World Burn Congress. “These individuals have an openness and vulnerability, yet they have courage far beyond what most of us can imagine,” Morris Jones said.
Lan Hoang does not speak publicly about how she was injured in 2011, but she is surrounded by individuals who understand her journey. For Hoang, attending her first retreat in 2012 gave her a better understanding of the issues, difficulties and challenges burn survivors face. She attended a second retreat in 2014, and has continued to attend retreats and support groups through the years, crediting them with saving her life.
Conner met Hoang, whom she calls her “best friend,” at a support group. “It’s been seven years since I was burned and in the midst of the chaos now I can be a support to others. We are so blessed to be a part of this community although I have to admit the initiation sucked!" Conner said, noting that it is because of the support groups and retreats that she has come to terms with her hidden scars and is now able to help others.
For Jennifer Bell-Matthews, support groups have been what she needed to come out of her shell. “My parents forced me to go to the support groups because I had been isolating myself,” she said, noting her ethnicity played a large part in her self-imposed isolation. “I didn’t see many African American burn survivors and that was difficult. I felt that because I had these scars I had to be perfect in everything else I did so I became obsessed with perfection. The support groups taught me about myself and my true path. It helped me embrace me.”
“We are so proud to have offered this retreat for adult burn survivors since 2010. It has become one of the cornerstones of our burn survivor aftercare program. Our hope is that the burn survivors and their loved ones leave the weekend feeling inspired, energized and with new tools to tackle the challenges ahead,” Campbell said. “We know that our patients’ recovery doesn’t stop when they are discharged, so modern burn care must extend beyond the walls of the hospital.”
Established in 1962, the Parkland Regional Burn Center provides care to more than 2,200 patients annually. Serving Dallas and 96 surrounding counties, this comprehensive burn center is one of only 70 verified burn centers in North America and the only verified burn center in North Texas. Burn Center staff provides all services from emergency treatment to intensive care to rehabilitation and outpatient follow-up care.
If you would like to support the burn center or any programs at Parkland, please visit www.istandforparkland.org. For information about services available at Parkland, visit www.parklandhospital.com