Posted: 10/22/2018
Domestic Violence Awareness Month highlights stark facts about abuse
Put the problem in perspective: nearly 6,500 American troops were killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012. During that same time, almost 12,000 women were murdered by current or ex male partners – nearly double the number of war casualties. In 2017, more than 22,510 cases of family violence and more than 2,000 cases of sexual assault were reported in Dallas County, but experts say many victims do not report the abuse to authorities.
“Sadly, domestic violence in America has reached epidemic levels,” said Melissa Reilly, LCSW, Director of the Victim Intervention Program/Rape Crisis Center at Parkland Health & Hospital System. “Every minute, 20 people are victims of intimate partner violence. A woman is beaten every nine seconds in the U.S. It’s important to shed light on domestic violence so we can help prevent it and provide support to survivors.”
During October, designated as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Parkland staff is stressing the need for education and outreach to spread the facts about this serious public health issue. Despite media coverage of the #MeToo movement, misinformation and myths about domestic violence persist, Reilly said.
Here are seven commonly held beliefs that Reilly said have no basis in fact:
Myth 1: Only women are abused. Data shows that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 7 men in the U.S. have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner. “Men can be victims of assault and abuse just as women and children can be,” Reilly stated.
Myth 2: Domestic violence is a private family matter. “Keeping domestic violence secret doesn’t help anyone,” Reilly said. “Allowing it to continue in secrecy harms children, creates a perpetuating pattern of abuse and fosters a sense of shame in the victim.”
Myth 3: Domestic violence is a crime affecting the uneducated and poor. In the Emmy award-winning drama “Big Little Lies,” actress Nicole Kidman portrayed an affluent, educated woman married to a prominent and successful man, but behind their façade of perfection was a dirty secret – he was a violent and abusive partner. “Domestic abuse has no regard for age, financial status, education level, social standing or ethnicity,” Reilly said. “It can affect anyone, regardless of their socio-economic status.”
Myth 4: If the victim doesn’t leave, it can’t be that bad. This is a particularly harmful myth because it distorts and diminishes the impact of abuse and blames the victim for staying in a troubled relationship. “Men and women stay in relationships for many reasons,” she said. “It could be fear of the abuser, financial need, worry about children, lack of housing and transportation options, and social or family pressure.” Statistics show that victims on average leave and return to a relationship seven times before they succeed in separating – or are killed by the abuser. “Leaving is an especially dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse,” Reilly stated.
Myth 5: Domestic abuse is only physical abuse. Not so, according to experts in law enforcement, social services and medical and mental health professionals. Physical violence may leave the most visible marks, but the spectrum of abusive behavior can include verbal and sexual abuse, coercion, stalking, isolation, economic control, intimidation, bullying, emotional withholding, destruction of property, and harm to pets. “Nonphysical abuse is still painful and is still abuse,” Reilly said.
Myth 6: Abuse occurs when someone ‘snaps.’ Domestic violence is not about anger management, experts say. “For those who use violence as a tool of manipulation, it’s not a random act or momentary loss of control. Abuse generally recurs and is part of a pattern of deliberate behavior,” Reilly said.
Myth 7: The victim provokes the partner into violent behavior. “Violence is never acceptable,” Reilly said. “Whatever problems there are in a relationship, there is no excuse for physical or emotional abuse.”
Parkland’s VIP/Rape Crisis Center provides free counseling and help finding emergency shelter, legal assistance and other services for male and female victims ranging from age 4 and up. In 2017, Parkland’s VIP/Rape Crisis Center served approximately 2,468 victims of abuse or domestic violence, ages 13 and up.
For information about the VIP/Rape Crisis Center at Parkland, visit www.parklandhospital.com. For immediate assistance, call the center’s 24-hour sexual assault and domestic violence crisis line at 214-590-0430.