Posted: 2/21/2018
During Teen Dating Violence Month in February, talk to your kids
It’s a topic we can’t escape. Reports of sexual harassment grab headlines almost daily and kids of all ages hear the disturbing news along with adults. Though some parents may not feel prepared to discuss the topic with their children, experts say it’s important to take advantage of these “teachable moments” for age-appropriate conversations with girls and boys.
According to Malissa Melton-Otunba, MA, LPC, mental health counselor at Parkland Health & Hospital System, “It’s not solely up to schools to teach kids about sexual harassment and assault. Parents should be making a conscious effort to talk about these topics early and often. With this subject in the news, it’s an opportunity for parents to talk to their children about how to treat others and to discuss what you consider safe, appropriate and morally right and wrong.”
Otunba added that it may surprise many people that sexual harassment often leads to sexual assault and violence.
“This is a community-wide problem that affects people of all ages, genders and sexual orientation. If we teach kids when they’re young about sexual harassment, they will learn that they can speak up, honestly and assertively, about how they want to be talked to, treated or touched,” she said. “It’s important for parents to help kids and teens understand boundaries and to discuss standards for acceptable behavior.”
Sexual harassment includes unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature in the workplace or learning environment. Sexual harassment does not always have to be specifically about sexual behavior or directed at a specific person.
“For example, negative comments about women as a group may be a form of sexual harassment. Like bullying, sexual harassment is often committed by someone in power, like a teacher or supervisor, or an older, stronger or bigger person, to get their way,” she said.
Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience abuse from a dating partner each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Dating violence is not only physical abuse, but sexual, digital, emotional and verbal abuse as well.
February marks Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and Parkland mental health and pediatric providers encourage parents and teens to be aware of the signs of dating violence and to pursue healthy relationships built on respect. Recommendations include:
• Start prevention efforts in early childhood and continue for life.
• Teach empathy for others, communication skills and problem solving strategies.
• Age-appropriate education about healthy sexual behavior should focus on respect for self and others, and on communication and consent.
• Young children need to be taught the language to articulate what may be happening so they can talk to an adult about it.
• Young children know about bullying; harassment can be discussed as a type of bullying.
• Parents should start discussing ethical behavior with kids at a young age and continue conversations as their children develop and mature. Teach them how their words and behaviors affect other people.
• Children and teens should be taught to report harassment or any inappropriate touching or behavior to a trusted adult, without fear of blame or doubt.
• Find situations that open the door to a conversation – like something said on TV or heard on the radio. Ask your child if they’ve heard that word or seen anything like that at school, then discuss it.
• Repeat the conversations as your child matures – you can’t just do it once and say you’re done.
• As parents we are modeling behavior every day for our kids so it’s important to be aware of how we speak and behave and be a good role model.
The VIP/Rape Crisis Center at Parkland helps those who have experienced abuse and violence. These can take many forms, including sexual assault, family violence, intimate partner violence, human trafficking or other types of violent crime. VIP/Rape Crisis staff is available 24/7 to assist with victims’ immediate needs and provide ongoing counseling and assistance as needed.
The VIP/Rape Crisis Center provides services to women, men, teens and children 4 years and older who live in Dallas County. Counselors and advocates assist clients in strictest confidence to ensure their privacy, safety and well-being. Last year approximately 314 new clients received counseling services and 3,410 counseling hours were provided to victims.
The VIP/Rape Crisis Center at Parkland offers a Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Crisis Line at 214-590-0430. To learn more about services at Parkland’s VIP/Rape Crisis Center, visit www.parklandhospital.com